True Story 1.01
Pupils, be careful how you look at your teacher
The setting for this story
Lily was a fifth-grade teacher in an urban elementary school with an increasingly diverse student population. In this story, Lily recalls her frustration with one facet of a Puerto Rican girl’s behavior.
A story of misaligned minds1
Jeni was basically a good student. But soon after the school year began, I became increasingly frustrated with the way Jeni responded each time I corrected her work (often) or reprimanded her behavior (seldom). She didn’t look at me. It made me feel disrespected, or as the kids say, “dissed.” I’m her teacher! And it made no difference if I told Jeni to “look at me!”
So in exasperation one day, I sent Jeni to the office of the assistant principal with a note citing her lack of respect, adding that I’d “had enough!”
Lily’s question
Why won’t Jeni look me in the face whenever I correct her work or reprimand her?
Critique of story 1.01
In Puerto Rico, youngsters are drilled to show respect for older adults and those in authority by looking away from their faces during conversations. It’s OK to look at another’s face if they’re younger or a subordinate, a close friend or romantic interest, or a member of one’s family. But when any senior person corrects a child, the child must look away, usually downward. In other societies including ours, children learn to show respect for adults and authority figures who are correcting them by looking directly at their eyes or faces.
This 180° contrast in cultural norms for nonverbally demonstrating respect guarantees that, in schools with diverse student populations, this cultural complication will occur occasionally.
For thought
Showing respect by looking down applies in societies other than Puerto Rico. In still other societies, different norms apply. In parts of Africa, children learn to speak extremely softly to senior people.2
Related stories
Stories 7.01 and 7.03 similarly include vignettes about alternative ways of demonstrating respect. The former occurs in a Vietnamese high school; the latter takes place at an Alabama university.
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Endnotes:
1 DeCapua, 71–72; see also Byers & Byers, 20.
2 Hogle, 14.
All full citations are available at misalignedminds.info/References.