True Story 7.03
Professor navigates a formality speedbump in Alabama
The setting for this story
Aaron Kuntz was a young professor born, raised, and educated to the Ph.D. level in the U.S. Northeast. Below he relates what happened after he took up a professorship in Alabama.
A story of misaligned minds4
While I was completing my Ph.D. in the Northeast, I addressed my professors as Gretchen, Sharon, Joe, and Rick. I valued the ease and informality with which I connected with their lives.
Before we moved into our new home in Alabama, I visited my daughter’s elementary school principal in her office, introducing myself as “Anna’s dad, Aaron.” But when she learned of my position at the university, my name changed to “Dr. Kuntz.”
In my graduate classes, I introduced myself as “Aaron” and asked the students to address me using that name. But my students, many ten years my senior, called me “Dr. Kuntz.” This made me uncomfortable because it signaled a power-laden relationship. So during the next class, I noted the value of our interacting as colleagues and again asked to be called “Aaron.” But the next day I was “Dr. Kuntz.”
It took me a while, but eventually I realized that my repeated requests that community folks and students call me “Aaron” were making them uncomfortable.
Aaron’s question
Why do my students hear me ask to be called “Aaron” but persist in calling me “Dr. Kuntz”?
Critique of story 7.03
Respect is about one person’s showing another that he or she is valued – in many cases valued more than others. Societies have a variety of norms governing how overt respect is signaled. Some are nonverbal, such as bowing the head or averting the eyes. Others are verbal: Dr. Kuntz.
Across societies, advanced age often commands special respect. Other factors include political power, spiritual leadership, great wealth, and family origin. In Aaron’s case, it was about his advanced learning, certified by a Ph.D. degree. Respect for advanced learning varies among societies and even within American society. In the U.S. South, it gets overt respect, a marker of a knowledge-focused culture of learning. In our Northeast, it gets comparatively little respect.
The fact that Alabamans called him “Dr. Kuntz” was interpreted by Aaron in terms of power; he was uncomfortable with being publicly identified as more powerful. His perspective was in line with a trend among some Americans: evaluating relationships in terms of power differentials.
But wait. There’s a different way to think about Aaron’s experience that’s not about power.
It’s a fallacy to assume that, among humans normally, informality signifies a warm, collegial, equal-status relationship, while formality signifies coolness, distance, and unequal power. Aaron arrived in Alabama under the influence of this common but false assumption.
A relatively formal senior–junior relationship can be, and around the world often is, a warm, collegial, and valued experience for both parties. When the junior party addresses the senior with an honorific, the senior enjoys overt respect. In return, the junior receives guidance and wisdom from the senior. Often, both feel satisfaction with their relationship. Aaron could have developed fine relationships with some of his adult students even while they called him “Dr. Kuntz.”
Could benefits come from our recognizing that, when certain students show us respect, our most advantageous response would be to not push back? Their recognition of our advanced knowledge might strengthen their interest in learning from us. (And it’s nice to feel respected!)
For thought
What do you think might have happened if Aaron had been born, raised, and educated to Ph.D. level in Alabama, then had accepted a professorship at a university in, say, New Hampshire?
Related stories
Stories 1.01, 7.01, 7.05 and 7.12 all concern social status distinctions in educational contexts.
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Endnotes:
4 Kuntz, 181–85.
Full citations are available at misalignedminds.info/References.